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**Spoiler alerts throughout the article.  So just hurry up and binge-watch the episodes and then we can spill the tea**

If any of you out there in TV-land follow me, you know that I am addicted to three things in this life: 1) Pets with awkward names, like my mom’s dog “Clap Your Hands and Say Yeah,” 2) Tiramisu, Cheesecake, Milk Chocolate Chip Cookies just out of the oven, and perfectly ripe plums; and 3) speeding down the runway at takeoff.  Please ignore that I just mentioned 6 addictions.

Anyway, now there’s a new addition to my addiction list.  It’s “RuPaul’s Drag Race.”

From “Flood my basement,” to “I tend to think that emotions are for ugly people,” I am fully committed to the purely one-way relationship that I have with the show.  Let’s cut to the chase, here is my list of the most memorable moments from RuPaul’s Drag Race.

6. When Both Honey Mahogany and Vivienne Pinay Were Asked to Sashay the Hell Away

They gave about as much effort as I would have in 10th grade biology class.  They were terrible (in my best Joanie Heslop voice).  How could a person be so shameless as to dare walk up on that stage in front of RuPaul; giving the amount of effort that my four year old gives to cleaning her room.

Shame on you ladies.

5. Shots Fired: The Phi Phi O’Hare and Sharon Needles Fight

Phi Phi traveled from 0 to 100 in 2.2654 seconds.  It didn’t take long for her to let the world know what she thought of Sharon.  Telling her to go back to Party City was low…and funny as hell.  The only thing I thought at that moment was, “Sharon girl, you in danger.”

4. When Pearl Asked Ru if He Had Something on His Face

Oooweee!  Max wasn’t the only one that felt uncomfortable.  I clutched the imaginary pearls draped around my neck and almost died when Pearl asked Ru that.  Not only did Pearl say it, she gave Ru the “And?” look that has only been mastered by the Shaolin-esque drag queens.  Like a unicorn, these creatures are the rarest of humans.

3. Chi Chi DeVayne Taking Us to Drag Chuuuch

I’m not religious. I was raised a Buddhist, but I almost had the holy ghost enter my body from Netflix by osmosis.  When the jewels broke on her heels, I screamed “Lawd Jesus! Take me to the mountain top!”

2. Moxie Roxxxy

Usually when someone gets their wig snatched off, it’s a problem, unless of course you do it yourself, like Roxxxy did during her lip-sync extravaganza!  She really gave us Beyoncé, On the Run Tour, with all that follicle swinging.

1. Willam Gets Disqualified

Did anyone really believe the reason that Willam gave for why he got disqualified?  Seriously?  I don’t know.  It seems plausible, at the same time, not seeming plausible. And what was with all that yacking?!  If I didn’t know any better, I’d say she was pregnant.  Maybe I should send her a postnatal dress 😉 What do you all think?

OK, now it’s time for you to sashay away…









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